I’m officially working. And knee deep into it. After a stint of travel and a period of praying for work, it came to me. Now what do I do? I can’t fall into being the same way I was – working till I cry, deprioritising myself over anything with a deadline.
Today was a wake up call on how to stay sane and be different in the work place. You know, that task that is consuming my everyday at work rather than work itself.
I thought the awareness of wanting to be different would alone keep me true to my promise of finding balance.
The reality is though, that work is busy. Like crazy-six-weeks-before-a-launch busy. And I have no direct team.
So, in the realisation that sometimes I will need to do more, today I did more. With a consciousness that I was doing it. A mindfulness, some may call it.
My neck ached. My head hurt. But I felt them both.
I took a short lunch break. I worked late. But I realised.
I got on a train that was more busy. I read Time Out to inspire me.
In all of this I was conscious of my habits. Well, until the Time Out bit. That I did because I was standing on a busy train. But the rest I was aware of.
As I got off the train I realised I hadn’t once looked up. I had missed the sunset from the train window – yes, I may not have been able to see it, but I could’ve if I looked at my journey as a moment rather than an interim post to my destination.
And that is my learning. Today I have missed a sunset. The sunset which gives my eyes a treat at the end of a day, when I sit and look at how the world continues, no matter what type of day I’ve had.
When life gets busy, it’s too easy to default and look down, to simply get to where you need to without appreciating the journey. To hark back to habits that keep you in the routine you’re trying to break doesn’t do you any favours. The thing abut behavior and mind change is that it takes an effort to be different, not just a hope that it will be.
While most the time you can make this effort, when thing get tough, a single-mindedness can take over, leaving you going back to who you were, not who you want to be.
I’ll start tomorrow with this in mind. I must find ways to take moments and to continue to make the effort to change, even when I’m up against it.
Awareness is one thing, but doing something with it is the next stage of my journey. My life one – not my day to day one.